First Milestone Met? Check!!!

I turned 24 weeks today which is a HUGE milestone for triplets!!!!!

Everything after today is only good news as far as their development and survivability is concerned. I opted to get the steroid shots today to help the development of their lungs and skin so that is a positive thing too. Other than that - the girls are doing great. I have 8 weeks until my target date and anything after that is gravy. We are praying for Valentines babies! LOL At the last growth ultrasound - they were measuring about 1lb each so I am sure they are all a bit bigger than that since it was like 2 1/2 weeks ago. Imagine a cellular flip phone opened and that is the size of our girls! Amazing isn't it?

The hospital staff has been really awesome here and I really can’t complain other than just having cabin fever and wanting to get out of my room more than allowed. Heck - I would even opt to have a blood draw at this point if it meant I could go down to the lab! LOL

They have a chat hour every Thursday and all the pregnant girls get together and talk about why they’re here and stuff. In the last 2 weeks I have met a girl who was pregnant with twins and they had twin to twin transfusion syndrome. Long story short – one of her twins died and now she has to carry the viable baby and the dead baby for another 15 weeks since they were identical. I couldn’t imagine having to do that knowing that one of your children was dead inside of you.
Then today I met a girl who is 19, she was diagnosed with malnutrition and brought into the hospital. Come to find out she has graves disease and it is so bad that she is on intravenous fluids and can’t eat at all. She is 20 weeks and they have been giving her so many meds and steroids that they don’t know if her baby is going to not have difficulties or mental retardation when it comes out. She is so terrified and cried the entire time we were all together. It just broke my heart to see her!
All of this came at the perfect time for me because I was feeling down about being stuck in here and felt like I was missing out on a lot of "pregnancy" related things like the shopping and setting up the nursery and stuff - but now I realize just how much worse things can truly be.
God certainly has an uncanny way of thumping us between the eyes when we need a wake up call and making us realize just how lucky and blessed we are.

To my girls: 8 more weeks minimum until you can come out to meet everyone and while that sounds like a long long time - it isn't. We all love you so much already and can't wait to meet you! Grow big, get strong, take up all the room you want - mommy will survive- and come out to meet us in your own time. Stay as long as you want - the room is available only for you, my sweet angels. Mommy and Daddy love you more than anything!

One day left.....

We have one more day until our beta! I am so excited! I am 12dpt7dpet. Which for all of you who don't speak BBC speak that means that I am 12 days past the trigger shot and 7 days past embryo transfer. Oh and a beta is a blood pregnancy test. Come on Team Florian! We are waiting for you!
Special Message to Abby and Kadabbie : The Wondertwins~
To our beautiful babies - we hope you have decided to stay with us for a while because we already love you so very much. We promise to play with you, support you, trust in you, and believe in you. We love you our babies!

Wide eyed


Wide eyed
and hopeful
that my womb
will bear
untold treasures

Wide eyed
and hopeful
that I will feel
the sweetness
of love

Wide eyed
and hopeful
but sure
that I will know
the dawn
of a new creation

Mothers Day...

Well today is Mothers Day and usually I would dread this day because I would feel so left out, but today wasn't so bad. I think it is because I know that we are doing something that has a higher success rate than anything else that we have tried and also because I am at peace about this whole journey.
I tried for so many years to control our infertility by going through all these treatments and I thought that if I was good enough or I wanted this bad enough and that I prayed hard enough, that it would happen for us - and it never did.
I decided to give control of this situation to the Lord after talking to my Dad and listening to a set of tapes he gave me and since I have done that, doors just continue to open for us and we are going to walk through them and see where they take us.
This is hard for me to do since I am a notorious control freak - but I am working on this daily.

Happy Mothers Day to everyone! We are all mothers of some sort - whether our babies are furbabies, actual children, or our love is for our nieces or nephews. This is a day of celebration - not a day of mourning.

Longing for a baby: What my life is like

By MaDonna Medley

For the past seven years, my husband and I have been trying to start a family. Infertility has been a struggle that I definitely did not ask for, but I am growing stronger because of it.

As a result of our difficult journey, God has led me to minister not only to those who struggle to become parents, but also to those who have been blessed with children. My hope and prayer is that I can gently help those who have never experienced infertility to understand what life is like when you are longing for a baby.

To wake me up in the mornings, I need an alarm clock because there are no little ones to jump onto my bed urging me to wake up.

I take my time getting ready in the morning because I don’t have anyone to dress but myself.

Instead of changing dirty diapers, I change a puppy pad.

Instead of preparing lunch for school, I pour fresh food and water for my dog.

Instead of tiny fingerprints on my front door, I have old stains because I haven’t cleaned the glass in a few months.

I have no clue what it’s like to have a dryer full of little clothes that are “so aggravating” to fold.

I don’t have a diaper genie, a changing table, or a crib- only a bunk bed that is filled with junk we pile up throughout the week.

My picture frames are filled with pictures of friends’ children because I haven’t had an opportunity to capture the beauty in the faces of my own.

My husband and I don’t have any family portraits because we don’t have a “family” as defined by our world.

We haven’t had our picture taken in eight years because we feel incomplete.

There are no toys filling every area of my living room floor – only dirt dragged in by our shoes.

When I want to have a quiet moment, all I have to do is turn off the television.

The only birthday parties we celebrate are those of other children.

When we go to church, we feel like the “fairly odd couple” because everyone else has something in common.

No, I don’t know what labor pains feel like.

No, I don’t know what it feels like to carry your world in your womb for nine months.

And when I think I might be pregnant, I’m haunted by all of the “negatives” during the past eight years.

I can’t plan children, only “times” to try for them.

TSH, HSG, HCG, and PCOS are not blogging abbreviations.

Trying to conceive a child for me is driving two hours for a five-minute visit to draw blood and then waiting the entire day to hear that I’ll have to try again next cycle because I didn’t ovulate on the 12^th-14^th day, but on the 19^th day.

I have no more vacation or sick days left at work.

I never hear, “We’re praying for you and believing in you,” but rather “It’ll happen” or “Maybe if you adopt…”

I feel guilty every day. I feel like a failure to God, my husband, my parents, my church, and myself.

I’ve never heard “I love you, Mommy!”

If you have never experienced the pain of infertility, you can’t relate. However, you can pray for us. We long to have what you have. If we don’t congratulate you about your new baby or if we walk out of the room during a baby dedication or an infant baptism, please don’t be offended. These moments remind us of what’s missing in our lives.

Don’t miss an opportunity to hug, kiss, or play with your children. Take advantage of every moment you have with them. Take care of them and raise them to love the Lord. And never miss the opportunity to say to your children, “I love you!” For those who know what I’m feeling right now, stay strong. Love those who have what you long for. Most important, pray for them. Be happy for them, even when it hurts the most.

Trust in Jesus!